How to Face Your Resistance and Let Go

by - October 29, 2018


A few weeks ago I've briefly touched on the topic of resistance when I was talking about Learning to Accept Uncertainty, but resistance deserves to be explored on its own. It's integral part of who we are. When I happen to discuss it, I often use it in conjunction with "letting go" or "releasing", but before we even get to the pivotal point of letting resistance go, we first need to acknowledge its presence. We need to meet resistance, face it within us and stop running away from it or denying it. Just like with most things in life - it's here because it has something to show us.

So let's first allow it before we let go of it.

If we are fighting something it simply means we are not ready to accept it yet. It's a gradual process that we are often not even fully aware of. You can notice it by the rising need of control and attempts to change something that can't really be changed at that moment. Resistance can cause us inner tension, built up frustration and make us feel powerless. The more we resist something, the more it persists. But letting go is not as easy as we would like it to be. It takes more than saying a few words. We need to be fully ready to accept, but before that we need to meet our resistance.

Feel it, sit with it, befriend it. How does it feel? What is it here for? Ask your resistance to show what there is to teach you and then learn from it. In the past couple of weeks I realised that I was resisting moving to a new home. Not because I wanted to spend more time where I am currently, but simply because I was resistant to change. It didn't make sense to me why I would be resistant so I denied its presence within me. I was adamant that I wasn't fighting moving.

But I was. Big time. When I finally acknowledged my resistance, I learned that it was here, because I was afraid. I was so caught up in the practicalities of the move that I didn't want to admit that I felt fear, fear of the new, the unknown, fear of change. All of my past negative experiences associated with moving have flown into my thoughts and brought back the fears of repeating those patterns. I was resisting, because I was afraid to go back to where I was before, to the old versions of myself. But that's not possible. We can't undo our growth. We can't go emotionally and mentally back to where we were before everything we've learned up until now. I saw myself in my resistance. And so I've started letting go of the old "me", the fears and then I was finally ready to release the resistance.

Before we can let go of something, we need to really know what it is and why it is here. We can't close a chapter that we only skimmed reading. It's uncomfortable, it's emotionally messy and can bring back so much of the old dust that we swept under the rug. Now is our chance to really clear that dust for good.

Resistance is not a bad word, it's not something we need to rush into getting rid of only because it's inconvenient for us. Let's learn from it first.

Have a day of ease and love!

Inner Quiet is all about you. We will tackle the thoughts and fears of living in a world that keeps going even when you feel that you need a break. When a stressful life wraps you in its claws with no-way-out, we will try to show you another possibility, another solution, another way. No matter what you do or what you want to see yourself doing, we want to help you to shine through you. To be a human is hard enough without the constant pressure of being perfect and in this day and age we might feel it's impossible to live free of self-imposed constraints and others' expectations. Let's prove it wrong.

Previously on Inner Quiet - How to Free Yourself from Comparison

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