How We Can Strengthen Our Resilience

by - July 30, 2018

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Each one of us is born with the innate ability to overcome difficulties and challenges in a way that doesn't leave a lasting negative mark. In some people this ability is naturally quite strong, while in others it may need some supplemental strengthening. Psychologists call it resilience. If we look up the term in the dictionary, resilience is referred to as "an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change" (Merriam-Webster) and "the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties" (Oxford living dictionary), or perhaps you have your own word. Regardless of what you call it, we can all recognise that feeling within us guiding us to bounce back from a difficult period and helping us move forward. However, there will also be moments when we need more time. What's important is that it can feel much easier to work on strengthening our resilience when we are not already swimming in the stormy seas of a challenge.

The suggestions below can help you build on your resilience. You can work on them and return to them at any time. Resilience levels are not universally the same across all of us, so feel free to try them out, see how you feel and adjust them when needed.


It all starts within. If we want to be less negatively impacted by external factors, first we need to build up our self-esteem. We need to know, not just think that we can handle any challenge ahead of us and that we are worthy to do so. As we strengthen our relationship with ourselves, we are strengthening our resilience. Create space to be open with yourself and admit how you truly feel about yourself. What is there that you love? What is there that you need more acceptance of? What are you afraid of? Once you have that honest conversation with yourself, you can move forward to building up that bond by showing yourself compassion and allowing others to do so too. Your self-worth is not something you need to earn or work for. It's there, you just have to find that door to fully embracing it, because we are all inherently worthy.

Confidence is not the anterior you put up in front of other people. It's not about who seems the loudest or most outspoken. It's a reflection of how you truly feel about yourself and taking action despite the fears that might be holding you back or dimming your light.


Even when you want to show to yourself and the world that you can do it all, lean on your emotional support. Lean on the people you love and the unconditional support they give you. They are there for you to listen to, to hear and see you as the real you and lift you up. If you trust them and if you feel like you will be met with love and understanding, reach out to them and lean on their help. Doing so doesn't make you weak or needy, it doesn't make you less courageous or more afraid, but the opposite - it makes you human. Sometimes we show our strength the most when we recognise that we could lean on the help of others.

But if you feel like the people in your life are not able to offer you that positive support, see it as an opportunity to re-evaluate your relationships and determine whether you want to keep them in your life. Can you invite an open conversation with them and see if you can work together towards healing and moving forward? Is it perhaps time to let some people go and welcome others who can better understand and support you? Those questions are not easy at all to ask yourself, but if you've felt like this for some time and you know within yourself that you have to make a change, don't swipe it under the rug. Now is your chance.


Research has shown that the more we broaden our mindset and experience positive emotions, the more we strengthen our resilience. We change our perspective and begin to view our life as a more positive experience and the world as a whole. There are numerous practices you can adopt to build on your abilities to experience positive emotions. You can try meditation as a way to centre yourself and connect deep within or just dedicate a couple of minutes to sit in quiet with no distractions and let your mind and body relax. The calmer we are, the more we open ourselves to experiencing positive emotions - the more we notice and appreciate them. Another way is to develop a gratitude and appreciation practice by writing down things you feel thankful for on a daily basis. Do more of the things that you love and bring you true joy, spend more time with the people you love, find more opportunities to lighten up, laugh, dance and play.

Slow down, connect with yourself and others and welcome more joy.


All of the above are great starting points to begin building your resilience, but the list is not exhaustive. If you really wish to make a lasting improvement of any kind, you need to look at your life holistically. What areas of your life or your mindset do you feel an inner calling to change? Is there something you are trying to ignore or overlook because you feel fear around the outcome? Because when we find ourselves in the eye of the storm, all those little things we've ignored pick up speed fast and we feel them way more than we do on a good day.

Of course, this is not about striving to be "perfect" (there's no such thing!), but to be honest with ourselves and acknowledge what can be different for our own good. We will never have it "all sorted out", but we can love the humans we are right now and be confident in ourselves that we can continue to learn.

Have a day full of joy!

Inner Quiet is all about you. We will tackle the thoughts and fears of living in a world that keeps going even when you feel that you need a break. When a stressful life wraps you in its claws with no-way-out, we will try to show you another possibility, another solution, another way. No matter what you do or what you want to see yourself doing, we want to help you to shine through you. To be a human is hard enough without the constant pressure of being perfect and in this day and age we might feel it's impossible to live free of self-imposed constraints and others' expectations. Let's prove it wrong.

Previously on Inner Quiet - 4 Self-Soothing Techniques When Feeling Anxious

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