Why We Shouldn't Fear 'Failing'?

by - June 04, 2018

Have you ever held back from doing something you wanted to because you were afraid you could fail? If the answer is yes, then you know what I am talking about and you know why you're here. It's human to have fears and there's nothing out of the ordinary if yours is failure. Once upon a time it was mine too. It's gripping, it's strong and it's very good at clouding your judgement and pushing away the desires of your heart. It tells you that if you fail, you'll be a disappointment to yourself and everyone else and that you can't make it, because you've already tried and it didn't work out. It convinces you that playing it safe is good, it's the rational thing to do - if you've never tried something new, you would never really fail. But the fear of "failing" lies. Those are only some of the lies you've probably told yourself many times over and over.

Failure is just an outcome different from what we wanted and often that outcome brings out (completely understandably!) negative emotions within you - anger, disappointment, and pain that stops you from trying again and from making your desires happen. But it's still just an outcome that we take too personally and use it as a basis for making predictions about ourselves and our future accomplishments. If something doesn't turn out the way you wanted, why do you think it's some sort of statistical basis for your future endeavours? It doesn't mean that you can't keep trying, it doesn't mean that you won't achieve your goals. It doesn't mean that you are not good enough or smart enough.

When a baby makes its first steps and falls down, does it draw any conclusions about its abilities? Or does it cry a little, then picks itself up and tries again until it learns? Yes, we are not babies anymore, we are mature human beings, but we are still learning. We mastered all the tasks we had to as children, now we just have to master the task of doing everything else whether that would be changing careers or being the person you want to be.

If we look at "failing" purely as a different form of the desired outcome and don't let fear trick us into believing that it bears any other significance, we'll be able to pick ourselves up so much faster and try again. Fear inhibits you from living your life freely, it stops you from tapping into all of your wonderfulness and abilities. As long as you let fear run loose in your mind, it'll be hard to believe in yourself and do what you're meant to do. If this job, business idea or a relationship doesn't work out the way you wanted to, there's another possibility, actually - there are many other possibilities. You're who you are for a reason, don't diminish that. If you've never "failed", you'd never learn more than one way of doing something. You can't fail, simply because there's no such thing as "failing", there's outlining a new trajectory, there's learning and often there's finding something even better, because it'd fit with who you are the most. 

In a society made of assessments, grades and standards, we easily fall into the comparison trap and presume that what we do is wrong or not enough only because we measure ourselves to others, quick to label ourselves a failure. It's not true. If you do your best and you are not where you want to be yet, keep discovering the new route, keep having the spark of excitement and hope in you that this is going to be the your route and eventually it will be. Quieten the fearful voice of "failing" often masked as the voice of "reason" and know that nothing can stop you from trying again and nothing can stop you from making that dream happen. 

Have a day of love and dare to do that thing you've always wanted!

Inner Quiet is all about you. We will tackle the thoughts and fears of living in a world that keeps going even when you feel that you need a break. When a stressful life wraps you in its claws with no-way-out, we will try to show you another possibility, another solution, another way. No matter what you do or what you want to see yourself doing, we want to help you to shine through you. To be a human is hard enough without the constant pressure of being perfect and in this day and age we might feel it's impossible to live free of self-imposed constraints and others' expectations. Let's prove it wrong.

Previously on Inner Quiet - Learning to Let Go of Expectations

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